PERSONALITY DISORDER
There could be something in this not running malarkey, it's been great so far... less rushing around to fit the daily run in, eat when I feel like it rather than around runs, not having to hose down or stand in a freezing cold stream to pre-wash my legs, the relief of an annual angry eczema flare up which sores my wasteline during Winter, oh and no huge pile of running gear accumulating for what's known in our household as a 'selfish wash' or minging socks hanging around in various states of pre-soaks either. Even my car smells fresher without having cleaned it. 

Actually, missing it already really. But importantly, knees welfare? Well, not so much healed but certainly feeling freshened up after seven days of abstention.
There has been a downside of course, mainly that this potentially rather (Ok, very) grumpy middle-aged man has found himself getting some practice in for those tormented years ahead. A lack of running time has had me thinking too much - which is always a dangerous passtime - about things like the detrimental impact to nature of human evolution for example... as you do, in these idle moments of walking the dog.
This race, species or whatever sort of collective one could categorise ourselves as, appears to be abusing the Earth's natural resources, habitat, other creatures and ultimately ourselves at a more alarming rate than ever before.
I'm lucky in a sense that I will be no more than well dispersed microscopic particles of ash by the time us bipedal hybrids literally self destruct. But it could be a close call. At the current rate of human scourge, it's difficult to envisage a better world in any sort of short term. One would think an allegedly intelligent hybrid mammal would be doing something radical as a whole to counterbalance the damage already done? But that couldn't be further from the truth it would seem. Decades of huffing and puffing between world leaders at environmental summits hasn't really got anywhere. Warfare and unsettlement is as rife as ever, driven by religious and racist extremists whose consciences are bereft of any decency. 

Some sort of radical, new wave of political thinking needs to gain populism to help save the whole planetary demise. You could argue such a political turn of tradition has taken place in the USA with an unhinged character like Donald Trump in power, but it's very much the polar opposite to Trump's version of radical that is required. His absolute ignorance and disregard for issues green and conservationist says it all about this dangerous sociopath. Over here, Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn appears to offer something different and at least he is a gentleman. Some of those scared of his Socialist values have continued to slur him with all sorts of unfounded accusations. Anti-semetism being the latest. Corbyn speaks out against an Israeli government persecuting Palestine which is twisted in to an antisemitic narrative for those with their own appalling agendas. 
As things stand on the political front, dialogue doesn't seem to get anywhere or even work anymore. Threats and counter-threats are the way to bargain for power and policy, yet the biggest threat of all - atmospheric and planetary destruction - is continuously over-looked by a worldwide collective of live-for-today, ideological career politicians who steamroller anything through that makes money or makes them look good for five minutes, regardless of broader consequences of any kind.
Religion also has a part to play in teaching humanity to respect it's home. A useful place to start could be leading religious figures of all denominations strongly condoning more toleration of each other and using their influence to persuade some much needed worship and respect for the planet, preferably with as much gusto as their belief in various guises of supernatural beings. Hinduism could be exempt from my considerations here though, for were this the only religious channel created, then the need for peace, harmony and respect for all living matter might not be such the critical issue that it is.
The biggest challenge of all is for religions, politics, commerce and every individual to come together and take a sense of responsibility. A worldwide consensus to put dealing with the problems humanity has already created - and problems to face in the future - high on the priority list. The world couldn't be more far removed from that fantastical scenario right now. Somehow I don't think the current rise of the far right, the Conservative right or indeed any political wing other than something new or collaborative is going to deal with green issues and population as a matter of priority. Population is the one big taboo subject that simply has to be addressed at some point soon.
Hardly an epiphany these thoughts then, more the glaringly obvious. But more so, my upper sanctum seems much more bewildered and burdened by the stark reality of world affairs since inducing this onset of endorphin starvation by not running.
What flipped my lid the other night though, wasn't so much the repugnant excuse for human existence that dumped his rank MacDonald's packaging out of his car window - although that did make me feel like following the scrotbag with the sole intention of wringing his neck - but no, it was the BBC Sports Personality of the Year.
Also on the BBC, quiz show Only Connect recently revealed the distinction that BBC Plumber of the Year happens to be the one that stood out for me from a connecting sequence of four annual awards that were only ever awarded once. It seems to me completely criminal that such an award was scrapped when this dated act of pomp and ceremony that is Sports Personality of the Year is continually resuscitated and churned out for the sake of its own misguided sense of self importance. Besides, everyone needs a decent plumber now and again.
Last year's winner Mo Farah couldn't even be arsed turning up for the ceremony despite being in the country. Mo is very much a sportsman in a competitive sense, no question. Even if there may be a slightly grey area when he went to train in the USA and made a giant leap of class at a level where there is normally little room for so much manoeuvre, the guy can run. He can run quick and run hard. But personality? Not sure. 

He's not overly popular with his rivals which speaks a few volumes. In interviews he plays dumb - which is actually very boring indeed - rambling on like a scratched record about how he does it for his family at every opportunity. 

We never hear from Farah, ''I busted my balls with a 60 x 400's session off half a minute jog recovery recently and that gave me the edge today...''. It's always, ''I done it for my faaamily...'' I'm sure you did Mo, but you told us that last time.
Surely by description, contenders for the best sports personality should tick two boxes. Not only for having achieved at the top of their sporting game, but shown us a genuine personality that everyday folks can not only warm to, but engage with and also be inspired by?
So back to this year's BBC Sports Personality of the Year then. Now I may open myself up for criticism here by saying we only tuned in to watch the final of The Apprentice and caught the end of this year's awards show by default. The Apprentice is what it is though at least it makes for more entertaining television!
As if the Sports Personality show wasn't dire enough, they had the nerve to overrun it by fifteen minutes. It's fair to say I got on my high horse about this. The Apprentice final was already billed ten minutes longer than usual and we're up at six bells tomorrow taking Connie the dog out! Sir Alan should be stood with Claude and Karen at some iconic business location in London giving his finalists the lowdown when we are still awaiting the result of this almighty sporting tribute of tributes.
Third place... Harry Kane. OK, fair enough he bagged a few goals and won plenty of free kicks by cunningly collapsing in a heap whilst actually backing in to his marker in what was a brilliant World Cup effort for not only Harry, but the whole England squad. Personality though? Hmm, nice lad, inoffensive and he does seem genuine at least.
Second place... Lewis Hamilton.

That's it, I've had enough! I can't watch. I'm off in to the kitchen. Sports and personality? I'd argue the case of whether motor racing is actually a sport when some guys have much faster cars than others. Personality? Lewis Hamilton? Well if we are comparing wet dish cloths and drying paint, then yes, for me Hamilton fits the bill.
I find the man a bit creepy, exceedingly dull to listen to and he just grates on me as somebody who even takes taking themselves too seriously, too seriously. I can't detect a microgram of humility about the man. Never a decent word to say about his opponents, a sociopath so immersed in his own hype, so up his own backside that the bizarre enormity of his fan base brings me back to concerns about humanity again!
For flawed also-rans like me, it's easy to dislike successful people. After all, it's just a public persona upon which we judge them and we can't claim to know them at all personally. But my antennae just tells me there's something not right about Lewis Hamilton. I'm not keen on Jose Mourinho either, but I could sit and have a coffee with Jose to see if he could change my mind. I think much of Mourinho's arrogance is just bluster, whilst Hamilton's seems ingrained in his DNA.
I'm back in the room and catch the winner... Tour de France champion Geraint Thomas. No idea about him to be honest. Fair play for winning the Tour, but I'm done with this ridiculous contest and the pimped up glitz and glamour of a large arena in which it's staged these days to paper the cracks of it's pointlessness. 
I rub my hands in readiness, ''Apprentice now, surely...'', but no. To add insult to injury, they run even later than late with the not so long ago intriguing sound of George Esra. Talented lad that he is, this latest song is awful dumbed down  cheesey pop... AAAAAGH!!! Back to the kitchen. 

I put a slice of toast on to kill a bit more time. What a load of nonsense that whole sports personality hoo-hah really is.
And......... breathe.   
Just reading back on what I have written and, oh well, it feels better out than it did still in. My four - occasionally five - regular blog readers will be spitting their tea out. 

I think I need to get back running fairly soon.             

TIME TO GIVE IT A REST
Just for a week or so it seemed like building up to the County Cross Country Champs in early January was definitely on. But this situation with the knees just isn't going away. Reigning in that long distance stuff may have aided a moderate recovery and some days made me genuinely believe I can carefully run through it all. But this perseverance, heedless hope and ignorance has got to stop. It's time to take action with an indefinite period of no running action whatsoever.
The old leg benders need a break. Even to the most remote cavities of my brain where the act of denial is most fervently processed, this has now become the blatantly obvious truth.
The last week or two have been so up and down with my running it's been impossible to follow any routine or structure. One day I can bash out an interval session on the grass and mud or do a strong paced road run without any problems, yet another day I can barely stumble three or four miles out at plod speed. The latter seems to have been the story of the past few days. Couple tired knees with a general knackeredness, triple it with recurring backache... stepping off the hamster wheel of training has got to be for the best - if only to stop me moaning on about it as well. I'm actually really starting to bore and irritate myself by going on about my knees all the time. Give it a rest, John. Shut the frig up and do summat about it.
Ultimately the big question is whether I want to compete on the fells next year? Well of course I do. My running head remains young and hungry, despite the decaying bodywork. Let's see if some rest can patch up the rust and rot.   

TARMAC - A NECESSARY EVIL
Post-Tour of Pendle, if thinking I could recover to a fit enough state and find some fast enough legs to plunge in to the Podium 5K two weeks later was over-ambitious, then thinking I could return to Pendle for the morning circuit run just a few days on was utter stoic stupidity. The reality was that it took a week to even descend a staircase in some sort of orderly fashion, so a premature venture back up the fell three days after the race was a knee-knocking plunder that served only to remind me of how bad it felt in those last few miles again.
Subsequent runs have ironically felt much better on a road surface with a reduction of lateral knee movement on the smooth and hard stuff proving not to be as irritating. This tarmac hater has had to dance with the devil in order to keep some training up.
After a frustrating week of lumbersome road and parkland plodding, last Monday I felt compelled to just go out and do a hard effort road run in some sort of shit or bust time trial. The Clitheroe four miler route from work is my modern day gauge for such experiments and it did get a bit ugly from around two miles. The effects of a lack of quality running at some sort of speed kicked in. The knees weren't overly impressed either, but I persevered and in the end was not much more than half a minute outside the best time I've done on that route. The result was neither shit, or bust. It was in fact just the tonic to get back in to some sort of proper training mentality for the rest of that week, and to date. The four miler blast certainly proved that sessions needed to make a hasty return as a weekly must-do, so with my next longer term goal geared towards making amends for that shocker of a run at the Lancashire Cross Country Championships at the beginning of the year, I've had a couple of really good sessions in the parkland slop that have restored a bit of belief and helped fire up some focus again.
The situation with the knees remains a concern though. Stretching, manipulating and staying off the fells seems to have stabilised the problem for now. If it doesn't fade away in the foreseeable future, then I have to unwillingly accept the prospect of taking some time out. After all, what's really at stake here? These are my knees, I only get one real pair. Should I be privileged enough to grow much older, the foolish pride that drives me to try and race to some sort of standard today ought not to cost me the ability to do other active stuff tomorrow.